Oopsie, Did I do that?

      Being a Father is still a new experience for me.  Having to deal with temperamental and often defiant children and not losing it has been a near exercise in futility.  I have said no and don’t do that more times than I can count, and that’s just today.  Yet, I got to tell you, I love my children.

      My relationship with my kids has been at times a fragile thing. This past week my son severely broke our relationship. Although I’ll reframe from giving details, the names have been changed to protect the guilty, but he cruelly hurt me.  I know, I can hear ya’ll saying, welcome to the club rookie.  This has happened in the past only to be forgotten and forgiven but this time was different. My wife confronted him with the fact and his response was a whiney and unapologetic”Sorry.”   He seemed put out that he was being confronted with what he had done. That anemic little “sorry” was supposed to fix the problem and restore the relationship, but it didn’t, not by a long shot.

     As is often the case, God uses parts of my life to teach me a lesson.  God has shown me that there have been times in my walk with Him that I have treated Him the same way my son treated me this week. I have from time to time broken the relationship that I have with Him.

      I got to admit that at times I have been a disobedient and willful child. When I have been confronted with this fact I have responded with my own whiney “Sorry.”  I thought that if I said I was sorry that that would solve the problem. The only problem was that I didn’t mean it. I did however expect for God to take that pathetic apology, forgive me and restore the relationship and get back to the business of blessing me.  I was often surprised to find that I did not hear from God during these times. My prayers would go unanswered.  Why didn’t He forgive me, after all, I said I was sorry?

     I had broken the relationship that I have with God. I grieved the Holy Spirit. All that I gave in return was a perfunctory “Sorry.” I did not even mean the words, and without true repentance it is impossible to repair the riff that was caused by my callous behavior. We should be broken over our breaches; it should hurt our hearts and cause us to seek to mend the relationship.