What are you doing here?

     I would love to say that 2010 was a stellar year for me in ministry. I can truly say that I have been blessed in the post that I have occupied for many years. However, this past year has been a challenging one, with the day to day operations taking the lion’s share of my time along with the demands of being a bi, tri, quad- vocational pastor in this sinking economy has been hard.

     There have been times where I felt like Sisyphus rolling a huge bolder up a steep hill only for it to roll back down to the bottom having to start all over again. Over and over and having nothing to show for my efforts. Feeling all alone and suffering the unkindest cut of all, the cuts of a brother, having friends turn away from you or worse.

     I know that this does not only happen in ministry, everybody experiences the same things from time to time. After all the number one prescribed medicines in America are anti-depressants. We can take heart that we are not the only ones who have gone through this. We have a perfect example in the book of first Kings.

     The prophet Elijah had just come off a wonderful victory on Mount Carmel. God had Shown himself to be the true God once again, vaporizing the sacrifice and drying up all the water in the trench surrounding the alter. The people of Israel returned to worshiping God and not Ba-al. The prophets of Ba-al, all 400 of them, had been put to the sword. And to top it all off God had allowed it to rain on Israel for the first time in over three years. If anyone had the right to celebrate his victories it was Elijah.  Unfortunately, sometimes our greatest defeats can come on the heels of our greatest spiritual victories.   

     All that it took was a word from Jezebel to knock the wind out of his spiritual sails. She told Elijah that he was a “Dead Man Walking!” More exact she told him that,” May god do to me what you have done to the prophets of Ba-al if you are not dead in twenty four hours.”  That is all that it took to shatter Elijah’s confidence. Off he ran. He fled for his life. He did not stop until he got to Beersheba.

     But as we see in the story, God was waiting for Elijah when he got there. God asked Elijah,”Elijah? What are you doing here?” Elijah replied to God,” I just want to lie down and die! Just kill me! I’m the only one left, I’m all alone, not only that, but Jezebel wants to kill me.”  We can sympathize with Elijah. Elijah was exhausted, he was overwhelmed, he completely out of his depth. Anyone who has felt as if they can‘t take one more step knows how he felt. Anyone who has felt as if they are the only ones who are faithful, as if they are all alone knows what he was going through.

     Elijah failed at a single point. Elijah thought that it was up to him to fix his problem with Jezebel. Elijah could not see any way that he could take care of the situation. Elijah thought that his only recourse was to run from his problems. He failed because he forgot that it was not up to him. He forgot that it was God and not him that had taken care of the prophets of Ba-al on Carmel. He forgot that it was God who started the rain again. God would have taken care of Jezebel also. God sent angels to care for Elijah, and sent him back to where he was supposed to be. God took care of Jezebel.

     We don’t fare much better than Elijah. We are great followers of God and Christ in the good times but as soon as things start to get rough we forget that it is God who stands for us. We get overwhelmed and figure that it is us and not God who must win the day. In the end we have to let God be God.